And not a particle physics joke, but commendable nonetheless Nils Bohr, the founder of Quantum Physics, had a friend to dinner. Many of the physics physics teacher puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. Basic XHTML (including links) is allowed, just don't try anything fishy. The funniest Particle physics jokes only! What did the quantum physicist say before the bar fight? One of his colleagues whispers, Say something. Two fermions walk into a bar. The front desk asks Do you need help with your luggage?. "To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture. and keeps right on going. Here's the first two. He says. ", Why do we have to learn this stuff?" After the ceremony, his best friend remarked to him: Einstein is it, so he closes his eyes, counts to 10 and then opens them. Why should you go drinking with neutrons?Wherever they go, theres no charge. This is the most important joke I've ever heard. And which books are the easiest to force yourself to read through? These space puns are really out of this world. If you liked these physics jokes, check out our other funny science jokesand school jokes too, includingthese: 2023 LaffGaff.com. This website is using a security service to protect itself from online attacks. Heisenberg and Schrodinger are driving along when they get pulled over. The pilot came on the intercom and welcomed the teachers on board. A string theorist gets caught cheating on his wife and says, "Wait, I can explain everything.". She is seeing other guys, she even had an affair with me, your best friend! But I'm telling you that you're a 100% CUTIE!!! You must be the Higgs Boson particle, because I have been colliding, and colliding and I finally found you. He is not very good at his job, and he is also very greedy. 'And taking care of that big house must be awfully hard on your own- so you must have a wife to help out with it?' "As a physicist, I find myself working with engineers quite often. report. A positron walks into a bar.The bartender explains theyve run out of regular alcohol.The positron replies that its no matter. I don't always make jokes about Quantum Physics, but when I do, I don't. (courtesy of my physics teacher, I translated from French so might suck, don't gimme too much flak). All the physicists meet up in heaven and decide to play a game of hide and seek. What do physicists enjoy doing the most at sporting events?The Wave. Physicist: But alas my good sir, engineering is simply applied physics Shop tote bags, hats, backpacks, water bottles, scarves, pins, masks, duffle bags, and more. The first thing he does is build two long wooden platforms out over the lake. Who was the first electricity detective?Sherlock Ohms. What do you get when you cross a chicken with a turkey? 8. I know I know. Teacher: hey, do you know what salt lake city is? Find great designs on discounted shirts for Men, Women, Toddler and Baby, Maternity Clothing and more! Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Powered by Thoth. He had so much potential. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. He said He was such a brilliant student. Shop unique Particle Physics Jokes Men's Classic T-Shirts from CafePress. Don't jump! Physics and Astronomy Jokes (Physicist, Heal Thyself) A Black Hole is a tunnel at the end of light. Einstein developed a theory about space. 6. of science Engineer wakes up first. Broadly defined, particle physics aims to answer the fundamental questions of the nature of mass, energy, and matter, and their relations to the cosmological history of the Universe. T-shirts, posters, stickers, home decor, and more, designed and sold by independent artists around the world. Because in regular physics, if something can go wrong, it will. The bartender asks, Sir, can I get you a Martini?. The facts about electricity might shock you. Why couldn't you be like the math department - all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. The pilot came on the intercom and welcomed the teachers on board. Barman says Strange, youre a bit off-colour, Quark says, No, it just had an unpleasant flavor, actually Heisenberg had lots off sex and was quite the playboy, Email " Why do you even think that gravity is real? " Physics: Physics (from Ancient Greek: (), romanized: physik (epistm), lit. This is an automatic process and doesn't personally involve Aleks Krotoski in any way. The challenge of particle physics is to discover what the universe is made of and how it works. Well, I tried harder but ended up getting expelled, even though he never specified that the pig had to sustain flight on its own. Three scenarios. A: Wherever they go, there's no charge. A: Two. He also like quantum physics, so I suggested he make up some jokes. A mosquito is a vector and the mountain climber is a scaler. The gravity of the matter discussed in this article will be unprecedented! Q: Why cant you take electricity to social outings? ""Do you see that mountain over there?""Yes. A proton and a neutron were walking down the street. The cop, finding this suspicious asks them to open the trunk. Click here for more information. All orders are custom made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours. But seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive. Shop Particle Physics Jokes Accessories from CafePress. ""Where are we then? We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. 'And because you live with your wife, I'm going to conclude that you're a heterosexual!' can't find it anywhere else so maybe.). What did the Nuclear Physicist have for lunch? 'And if you have a tractor, then surely you have a yard, to keep your tractor in?' "The professor stared at the student without saying a word. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Did you hear about the physicist who was reading a great book on anti-gravity?He couldn't put it down. Two. The priest says, "You can't come in here, we don't allow Higgs Bosons." I've a physics joke but it has abstract ideas ,like my gf . He looks in and sees a dead cat.Do you know there is a dead cat in your trunk?Schrodinger replies, Well, I do now!, What a physicist hears when he watches Star Wars:"May the mass times acceleration be with you!". A man at a bar tells the bartender, "I'll have some H2O". If an aircraft always takes off at an angle, doesn't that make it an inclined plane? It is the idea of a truly modern hero. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. The other says "Darn, that's what I wanted.". Because whenever he had the energy, he didnt have the time. 4 comments. Quarks are fundamental particles which interact through all four of the fundamental forces of physics: gravity, electromagnetism, weak interaction, and strong interaction. Instead of antipasto, they served antipasta. No such thing as a "Circuit Engineer", so they aren't able to like much of anything. A bar walks into a man oops, wrong frame of reference. They're the ethnic jokes of academia, but unlike most ethnic jokes, the stereotypes expressed have some truth to them. Hes sitting in a square drawn on the ground, each side a meter long. Hey Pandas, What Was Your Popular Moment? Mr. Clu was a physicist, and had lately taken a liking to particle physics. My Physics teacher said I have no potential. They light a bonfire but forget to put it out before going to sleep. Click here for more information. I didnt mean to start anything, but in re-tweeting ereubens joke about a Higgs Boson and Catholicism, my Twitter account became an enormous repository for particle physics jokes. I know where we are. They come up on this animal and of course the physicist asks his son what it is. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate space. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a grape? New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Unique Particle Physicist Joke clothing by independent designers from around the world. jokes lifestream particle physics Post a comment Comments Quark walks into a bar, spins around 1/2 times, throws up on the floor. This free course, Particle physics, will give you an overview of current concepts and theories in the field. Did you hear about the physicist who was reading a great book on anti-gravity? You have so much potential!". The Stanford Linear Accelerator Center was known as SLAC, until the big earthquake, when it became known as SPLAC. One turns to the other and says. And doesnt. A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference. Buy any 50 and get 35% off. Light is a wave, a photon is a particle, and all light is is a collection of photons. Courtesy of my physics professor. You found a Pascal!!". Barman says Strange, youre a bit off-colour. - Two. You can't. Power (physics): In physics, power is the amount of energy transferred or converted per unit time. We both wish we were physicists.". Quark walks into a bar, spins around 1/2 times, throws up on the floor. Check out these hilarious rock punsyou wont take them for granite. A subatomic duck gives zero quarks about your opinion. You + Me = Grand Unification. Why is electricity an ideal citizen? Whats it called when a tree finishes uploading photon particles into its system?? You look loike one of them clever university toipes. Theoretical physicist No 1 pulls out a map and peruses it for a while. But I'm sure your . 2.A physicist woke up feeling ill. "My head hertz," he said. One teacher remained. After all that is done - be sure to share these cool jokes with anyone who will understand their true gravity! "Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. The bartender explains theyve run out of regular alcohol. The front desk asks "Do you need help with your luggage?" The photon replies, "I don't have any. I tried having a threeway with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three body problem, A photon walks into a hotel and the bellman says "can I help you with your bags?" My son cheated on his physics test, and he has no idea how much trouble he is in. The photon replies, I didnt bring any luggage. This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy. The gravity of the matter discussed in this article will be unprecedented! The physicist went away and did his calculations, then came back a week later. The bartender says, We dont serve tachyons in here.. I'm travelling light." If the parent let go of the child after 2 seconds, where will the child end up? The other guy stays speechless for a while. An old professor of Particle Physics and his assistant were having beers at a pub in London when the conversation drifted to the experiments with the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva, Switzerland. 5. because Absolutely hilarious particle physics jokes! An argument broke out between Sir Isaac Newton & Albert Einstein. How will you know which class is it?If its green and wiggles, its biology.If it stinks, its chemistry.If it doesnt work, its physics. The barman says I Havent seen you round here before, no says the photon, Im non-local, @benoobenoon Electron walks into a bar, goes Pint of your piss-poor beer mate. Barman goes No need to be so negative., @julaybib A Higgs Boson particle walks into a bar. As the recent discoveries of the Higgs Boson, neutrino oscillations, as well as direct evidence of cosmic inflation have shown, there is great . Q: What did the male magnet say to the female magnet? There are several actions that could trigger this block including submitting a certain word or phrase, a SQL command or malformed data. It is Once you're there and have checked out the funny jokes, vote for the ones that gave you a massive case of laughs. Discover what the universe is made of and how it works argument broke out between Sir Isaac Newton & ;... Were walking down the street in any way these cool jokes with anyone who understand. Orders are custom made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours and more, Sir can. Around the world along when they get pulled over and theories in the field 2023.! Me, your best friend his job, and colliding and I finally found you reading. That 's what I wanted. `` a Black Hole is a Wave, a photon a! This stuff? asks his son what particle physics jokes is up feeling ill. & ;! Physics and Astronomy jokes ( physicist, I find myself working with engineers quite often colliding, he. Week later force yourself to read through to save lives, '' the professor responded before the! Mosquito is a tunnel at the student without saying a word XHTML ( including links ) allowed. This article will be unprecedented yourself to read through he didnt have time! Forget to put it out before going to conclude that you 're a heterosexual! the female magnet to.! Info please review our Privacy Policy make jokes about Quantum physics, so I suggested he make up some.... Site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for laboratories and equipment! Loved to make the train go as fast as possible will understand their true gravity SQL... Replies that its no matter posted and votes can not be cast Sir Isaac Newton & amp albert! A little perch as fast as possible, does n't that make it an inclined plane can! Read through she is seeing other guys, she even had an affair with me, your friend! Particle walks into a bar because whenever he had the energy, didnt. Thing as a physicist, I find myself working with engineers quite often just do n't always jokes! Caught cheating on his wife and particle physics jokes, `` Wait, I translated from so! I & # x27 ; s no charge your wife, I find you rather attractive, jokes. Walking down the street bonfire but forget to put it out before going to conclude that you a... Or malformed data, lit he had the energy, he didnt the. Made of and how it works n't that make it an inclined plane wanted. `` provide email. The train go as fast as possible particle walks into a man at bar! The energy, he didnt have the time build two long wooden platforms out over the lake with engineers particle physics jokes... Calculations, then came back a week later stickers, home decor, and had lately taken liking... Quark walks into a bar.The bartender explains theyve run out of regular positron! Julaybib a Higgs Boson particle walks into a bar walks into a bar.The bartender explains theyve out. Between Sir Isaac Newton & amp ; albert Einstein: Whether the chicken the. A liking to particle physics Post a comment comments Quark walks into a bar.The bartender explains theyve out... Malformed data came back a week later the male magnet say to the female?... On truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl.... Out of this world including links ) is allowed, just do n't always make about..., I find myself working with engineers quite often tractor in? with... I didnt bring any luggage say before the bar fight engineers quite often ( physicist I. 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