The feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement which binds us. Many a distracted wife has visited this house to find loving and understanding companionship among women who knew her problem, to hear from the lips of their husbands what had happened to them, to be advised how her own wayward mate might be hospitalized and approached when next he stumbled. He has been placed in one institution after another. Perhaps your husband will make a fair start on the new basis, but just as things are going beautifully he dismays you by coming home drunk. How can such a lack of proportion, of the ability to think straight, be called anything else? Then let his family or a friend ask him if he wants to quit for good and if he would go to any extreme to do so. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives could have been saved, had it not been for such stupidity. Michele Dotrice Wiki, Music and gay chatter still floated to him from the bar. If there be divorce or separation, there should be no undue haste for the couple to get together. When we were finished we considered it carefully. Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds. Had this not been so, many of us would have no homes today, would perhaps be dead. Make him feel absolutely free to come and go as he likes. Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. My schoolmate visited me, and I fully acquainted him with my problems and deficiencies. The 164 and More Book, eBook, and Web Site are all CONCORDANCES which display passages from the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous, the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, and the A.A. Grapevine (A.A. Preamble only). If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God. Understand he was once a well-known lawyer in town, but just now weve got him strapped down tight., Here was a prospect all right but, by the description, none too promising. Was it our self-esteem, our security, our ambitions, our personal, or sex relations, which had been interfered with? How Forty-Two Alcoholics Recovered From Their Malady - (pp. He wanted so much to talk with someone, but whom? We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. He has a positive genius for getting tight at exactly the wrong moment, particularly when some important decision must be made or engagement kept. After consulting with his wife and partner he came to the conclusion that is was better to take those risks than to stand before his Creator guilty of such ruinous slander. I sat down at a table and ordered a sandwich and a glass of milk. He admitted he was overdoing these things, but frankly said that he was not ready to stop. But there are many men who want to stop, and with them you can go far. Why not bring him into contact with some of our alcoholic crowd? One day I walked into a cafe to telephone. This case contains a powerful lesson. It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. His call to the clergyman led him presently to a certain resident of the town, who, though formerly able and respected, was then nearing the nadir of alcoholic despair. That often makes the difference between failure and success. Our struggles with them are variously strenuous, comic, and tragic. This may seem inconsistent, but we think it is not. Plus the Forwards are not numbered right either, It just doesnt make sense what this publisher did. When the man is presented with this volume it is best that no one tell him he must abide by its suggestions. Once in a while he may tell the truth. If he is already committed to an institution, but can convince you and your doctor that he means business, give him a chance to try our method, unless the doctor thinks his mental condition too abnormal or dangerous. Your house is filled with strangers. A look at the alcoholic in your organization is many times illuminating. Your junior executive may not agree with the contents of our book. We have shown how we got out from under. They think we do not have enough of it, or that it isnt the right kind. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading 164 and More - I have written a book with somewhere in the range of 30,000+ words, and I find it quite embarrassing to call it a book. Were nothing left but pure reason, it wouldnt be life. Time after time, this apparent calamity has been a boon to us, for it opened up a path which led to the discovery of God. Obviously it had not. Then he begins to appear at hospitals and sanitariums. His drinking may be constant or it may be heavy only on certain occasions. We want to analyze mistakes we have made. Thus, highlighting will ultimately not work at all.Copyright 2005-2013 by Recovery Press. This thought brings us to Step Ten, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. Most alcoholics have to be pretty badly mangled before they really commence to solve their problems. When our friend related his experience, the man agreed that no amount of will power he might muster could stop his drinking for long. I was to test my thinking by the new God-consciousness within. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality- safe and protected. Subscribe to our newsletter to receive the latest news, blogs, and so much more! If the book is read the moment the patient is able, while acutely depressed, realization of his condition may come to him. For example, the passage about "King Alcohol" is not shown in the A's since there are no listings for the common word Common words cannot be used when searching for a particular passage. He was on thin ice. The local banker watched me whirl fat checks in and out of his till with amused skepticism. It began to look as though religious people were right after all. The mind and body are marvelous mechanisms, for mine endured this agony two more years. Remember that we deal with alcohol cunning, baffling, powerful! Why? Your husband will see at once that he must redouble his spiritual activities if he expects to survive. But the head of the house has spent years in pulling down the structures of business, romance, friendship, health-these things are now ruined or damaged. We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health. Nevertheless, I still thought I could control the situation, and there were periods of sobriety which renewed my wifes hope. When I returned to the hotel it struck me a highball would be fine before going to bed, so I stepped into the bar and had one. As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe underlying the totality of things, we began to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction, provided we took other simple steps. But dont remind him of this after he had been drinking, for he may be angry. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Avoid urging him to follow our program. When it made us cocky, it was worse. We, who are familiar with the symptoms, see large numbers of potential alcoholics among young people everywhere. The last three times, I got drunk on the way home from here. Just put in the word or phrase and you can even check to have just the 164 pages. Neither should the family hysterically plead with him to do anything, nor should they tell him much about you. He had that starry-eyed look. There is a complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove. Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his family back. One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. There are the same fast friendships, there is the same helpfulness to one another as you find among our western friends. He often gets entirely out of hand when drinking. 12 pt type - divide your word count by 350. Up to this point you would label him as a foolish chap having queer ideas of fun. We would not even do the cause of temperate drinking any good, for not one drinker in a thousand likes to be told anything about alcohol by one who hates it. Gin would fix that. Although many in the A.A. Fellowship will say that there is more than one (1) way to work the A.A. 6-b. I had had some success at speculation, so we had a little money, but we once worked on a farm for a month to avoid drawing on our small capital. The publication of this book has not been authorized or endorsed by, and does not imply affilia-tion with Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. or the General Service Office of Alcoholics Anonymous. I failed to persuade my broker friends to send me out looking over factories and managements, but my wife and I decided to go anyway. We have begun to develop this vital sixth sense. You would expect him, if he were normal, to cut it out. Almost invariably they got drunk. Assume on the other hand that father has, at the outset, a stirring spiritual experience. I had eaten there many times during the months I was sober. Over and over, he would say: Thats me. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else all their life story. For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. We seldom had friends at our homes, never knowing how or when the men of the house would appear. We finally saw that faith in some kind of God was a part of our make-up, just as much as the feeling we have for a friend. Yet we found it impossible. A man of thirty was doing a great deal of spree drinking. But this man still lives, and is a free man. This hope, however, was destroyed by the doctors telling him that while his religious convictions were very good, in his case they did not spell the necessary vital spiritual experience. Every few days this doctor suggests our approach to one of his patients. Little by little the family may see their own defects and admit them. Purchase Options. There is no friction among us over such matters. The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles. They have included the ability to print certain parts of the manual or save pages of the manual to PDF. We have shared his honest doubt and prejudice. This is perhaps difficult-especially discussing our defects with another person. He stood in the Presence of Infinite Power and Love. Understanding myself now, I fared forth in high hope. Hearts are broken. I had never been able to understand people who said that a problem had them hopelessly defeated. There was utter confidence. He now returned home, leaving behind his first acquaintance, the lawyer and the devil-may-care chap. Of course, there is such a thing as incompatibility, but in nearly every instance the alcoholic only seems to be unloving and inconsiderate; it is usually because he is warped and sickened that he says and does these appalling things. If we keep on the way we are going there is little doubt that much good will result, but the surface of the problem would hardly be scratched. If you desire to help it might be well to disregard your own drinking, or lack of it. In either case certain family problems will arise. Despite contrary indications, I had little doubt that a mighty purpose and rhythm underlay all. We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This just isnt so. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. The early history of AA tells us that even Bill W. had a sponsor who's name was Edwin T. There are 103 "Musts" in the third Edition. And so I did. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. They may be jealous of a God who has stolen dads affections. I had met my match. Dont start out as an evangelist or reformer. In a few years he became so violent when intoxicated that he had to be committed. I could almost hear the sound of the preachers voice as I sat, on still Sundays, way over there on the hillside; there was that proffered temperance pledge I never signed; my grandfathers good natured contempt of some church folk and their doings; his insistence that the spheres really had their music; but his denial of the preachers right to tell him how he must listen; his fearlessness as he spoke of these things just before he died; these recollections welled up from the past. Maybe you have disturbed him about the question of alcoholism. Neither did I have any pressing problems or worries. Be satisfied he is not deceiving himself or you. We have no desire to convince anyone that there is only one way by which faith can be acquired. His ways of thinking and doing are the habits of years. He got in touch with a prominent psychiatrist who had undertaken certain responsibilities for the mental health of the community. We are assuming, of course, that the reader desires to stop. These are the earmarks of a real alcoholic. The electrons themselves seemed more intelligent than that. Being on a radically different basis of life, he will never take advantage of the situation. One of the many doctors who had the opportunity of reading this book in manuscript form told us that the use of sweets was often helpful, of course depending upon a doctors advice. The official Big Book from Alcoholic Anonymous. Todays life is measured against that of other years and, when it falls short, the family may be unhappy. We have indulged in spiritual intoxication. There was no doubt he over- indulged. Show them that he has entered upon a period of growth. The expression on the faces of the women, that indefinable something in the eyes of the men, the stimulating and electric atmosphere of the place, conspired to let him know that here was haven at last. Instead of developing new channels of activity for themselves, mother and children demand that he stay home and make up the deficiency. Try not to condemn your alcoholic husband no matter what he says or does. But this is only a half-truth. Instead, the problem has been removed. But he must see the danger of over-concentration on financial success. He could not, or would not, see our way of life. Many of us have been so touchy that even casual reference to spiritual things made us bristle with antagonism. If these thoughts occur, they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isnt. We become much more efficient. We have three little mottoes which are apropos. Here are thousands of men and women, worldly indeed. The focus is the Big Book; Muckers use no other text. Family confidence in dad is rising high. In this way he was slyly carrying tales. Plenty of difficulties presented themselves. Have we skimped on the cement put into the foundation? We reviewed our own conduct over the years past. To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him. The answer depends on whether you only include the first 164 pages or the stories too. From a business standpoint, his trip came off badly. We must not shrink at anything. Paragraph numbers along side the text for easy reference. A.A. World Services, Inc. has granted permission for If you cannot find the word you are seeking, try another word in the passage. Then we were severely criticized by our husbands parents for desertion. We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them. We have spent thousands of dollars for examinations. Whether we agree with a particular approach or conception seems to make little difference. He is straining every nerve to make up for lost time. He may be one of the finest fellows in the world. Better men than we are using it constantly. There had been much happiness after all. There is no use arousing any prejudice he may have against certain theological terms and conceptions about which he may already be confused. Seemingly he could not drink even if he would. . Can it be appreciated that he has been a victim of crooked thinking, directly caused by the action of alcohol on his brain? He shuts himself up in an asylum, hoping to mend his ways. Many of us have heard of the Ninth Step Promises from page 83-84 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. The Actj.on repeated stipulations set forth in a 1995 Conference Advisory Action: namely that the first 164 pages--the Preface, the forewords, the section entitled "The Doctor's Opinion," the chapter "Dr. Bob's The First 164 pages of The Big One of many good places to begin is in Alcoholics Anonymous (aka the Big Book), specifically Chapter 4, We Agnostics.. On your employees return, talk with him. Thats me. Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book First 164. Those of us who live in large cities are overcome by the reflection that close by hundreds are dropping into oblivion every day. So many want to stop but cannot. Ask him if he thinks he has the answer. Let him tell you about it: I was much impressed with what you fellows said about alcoholism, and I frankly did not believe it would be possible for me to drink again. He inherited a lucrative automobile agency. But we believed in life of course we did. Here difficulty arises with agnostics. An alcoholic of this temperament may be quick to use this chapter as a club over your head. From surrounding towns, families drive long distances to be present. More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He had come to pass his experience along to me-if I cared to have it. AA fellowship is actually not nearly as effective as it once was. Some, but not all of us, think it has its advantages when reasonably used. All members of the family should meet upon the common ground of tolerance, understanding and love. Self-seeking will slip away. Without saying so, they may cordially hate him for what he has done to them and to their mother. Nothing more. A new world came into view. Though the family has no religious connections, they may wish to make contact with or take membership in a religious body. We have traveled a rocky road, there is no mistake about that. I went back to the bar. Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable? They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. We grow by our willingness to face and rectify errors and convert them into assets. The exercise of an option brought in more money, leaving us with a profit of several thousand dollars for that year. At the end of it, my reports to Wall Street procured me a position there and the use of a large expense account. Chapters describing the A.A. recovery program remain unchanged. Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell. And who could comprehend a Supreme Being anyhow? Permit that and you only harm him. Suggestions about these may be obtained from ones priest, minister, or rabbi. Copyright 2005-2013 by Recovery Press. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. He said he was perfectly willing to go to jail if she insisted. Should I kill myself? Some of the promises are directly associated with completion of a step. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of But it is clear that we made our own misery. If you put in several words and do not find what you are looking for, then, of course, try less words. I was always in a ward before., Said one of the visitors, Were giving you a treatment for alcoholism., Hopelessness was written large on the mans face as he replied, Oh, but thats no use. My writhing nerves were stilled at last. The firm wants to help you get over it, and if you are interested, there is a way out. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. Your man may be trusted. He is like the retired business man who lolls in the Florida sunshine in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation; the minister who sighs over the sins of the twentieth century; politicians and reformers who are sure all would be Utopia if the rest of the world would only behave; the outlaw safe cracker who thinks society has wronged him; and the alcoholic who has lost all and is locked up. He was as much a fact as we were. We looked askance at many individuals who claimed to be godly. They experienced a few distressing failures, but in those cases they made an effort to bring the mans family into a spiritual way of living, thus relieving much worry and suffering. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. Your candidate may give reasons why he need not follow all of the program. Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. All this time our friend of the hotel lobby incident remained in that town. Part 2: Chris Raymer, AA Big Book, CA speaker, talk about carrying the message to the addict that still suffers Hear renowned addiction speaker, Mark Houston from Texas, a recovered alcoholic/addict, speak on 12 step spirituality living in the spirit. This is as it should be. Written as a memoir and study guide, the story follows Phil D who has over 10 years of sobriety as he sponsors Glenn L who has just 3 months of sobriety. He had felt only the first nip of the wringer. All went well for a time, but he failed to enlarge his spiritual life. Everybody likes him. We have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, even our enemies, for we look on them as sick people. If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at Step Six. I would not go back to it even if I could.. If he wishes to talk, let him do so. You should point out that his defects of character are not going to disappear over night. Though, it is an impressive number when you stop to consider how many pages are in the Big Book. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. We hope this volume will inform and comfort those who are, or who may be affected. He has just returned from a three-months leave of absence, has taken a cure, looks fine, and to clinch the matter, the board of directors told him this was his last chance., The only answer I could make was that if the man followed the usual pattern, he would go on a bigger bust than ever. And the truth, strange to say, is usually that he has no more idea why he took that first drink than you have. In any event, try to have your husband read this book. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. Read the Preface to the Big Book. Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. He often possesses special abilities, skills, and aptitudes, and has a promising career ahead of him. Have we tried to make mortar without sand? BIG BOOK Type the first few characters of your word-of-interest into the search box in the upper right corner. Next morning I telephoned a friend in Montreal. I took a night law course, and obtained employment as investigator for a surety company. But what about his responsibilities-his family and the men who would die because they would not know how to get well, ah-yes, those other alcoholics? We are in the world to play the role He assigns. This applies, too, to other spiritual expressions which you find in this book. He is under constant fear and tension- that makes for more drinking. Many times we talk to a new man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship. They only thought they had lost their egoism and fear; they only thought they had humbled themselves. He tries every known means to get the jay-walking idea out of his head. Perhaps there are some cases where the utmost frankness is demanded. But I cannot accept as surely true the many articles of faith which are so plain to him. So it was comforting to learn that we could commence at a simpler level. But it was a silly idea that we were too good to need God. Sometimes I stole from my wifes slender purse when the morning terror and madness were on me. There are exceptions. He was on a different footing. In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. It works when other activities fail. Sometimes mother and children dont think so. There must be many such in this town. Since the home has suffered more than anything else, it is well that a man exert himself there. Some may agree with me and some may not, but I believe that seven of the most important words in the Big Book are the last two words at the bottom of page 133 and the first five words at the top of page 134, where the Big Book says " all alcoholics should constantly have chocolate available." To me, this is proof that the Big Book is . It was years since I could remember his coming to New York in that condition. Thats a common form of trouble too. Had we not variously worshipped people, sentiment, things, money, and ourselves? He may be broke and homeless. The man must decide for himself. I can find "alcoholic" on the web site, but not in the book. There is another paralyzing fear. If you are satisfied that he is a real alcoholic, begin to dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady. When he sees you know all about the drinking game, commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic. What is his basic trouble? Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation. We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year. Yet we had been seeing another kind of flight, a spiritual liberation from this world, people who rose above their problems. Say you do not want to be a wet blanket; that you only want him to take care of his health. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book. If he wants to stop, he should be afforded a real chance. From what you tell me, I know more than ever I cant stop. At this both the visitors burst into a laugh. I expressed my entire willingness to approach these individuals, admitting my wrong. Those of us who travel drop in as often as we can. If ever there was a successful business man, it is Fred. That was not easy. This may lead to lonely evenings for you. What are the first 164 pages of alcoholics? Words contained within the first 164 pages of the Big Book. We realize that some people are as fanatical about sex as others are loose. We have told innumerable lies to protect our pride and our husbands reputations. Let us tell you the rest of the conversation our friend had with his doctor. This sort of thing can be avoided. will add more attitude to your Bagger than a . We reviewed our fears thoroughly. Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. He is an intelligent man, normal so far as we can see, except for a nervous disposition. But this does not mean that we disregard human health measures. I have never seen one single case recover, where that state of mind existed to the extent that it does in you. Our friend felt as though the gates of hell had closed on him with a clang. The good old days will soon be back, they think. Maybe the doctor has been called in, and the weary round of sanitariums and hospitals has begun. There were 134 "Musts" in the first and second editions of Alcoholics Anonymous. Presently he is hit again and this time has a fractured skull. We were now at Step Three. You can easily see why. Come, whats this all about? I queried. There is comfort in knowing you arent alone, that what youre feeling isnt unusual, and that there is a solution. Well, so had I. e-mail: why are bulgarians so beautifulsubcajamar@sindigraficos.org When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Use 164andMore.com to search the Big Book and the 12&12. All of us spend much of our spare time in the sort of effort which we are going to describe. How could men who loved their wives and children be so unthinking, so callous, so cruel? From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. Certainly I was interested. Yet he got drunk again. Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How More Than One Hundred Men Have Recovered from Alcoholism (Nicknamed The Big Book because of the thickness of the paper used in the first edition) is a 1939 basic text, describing how to successfully [citation needed] recover from alcoholism.Written by William G. "Bill W." Wilson, one of the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), and many of the first 100 . Still no thought of drinking. I have enjoyed every moment spent in getting them straightened out. If his mood is light, tell him humorous stories of your escapades. You should be described to him as one of a fellowship who, as part of their own recovery, try to help others and who will be glad to talk to him if he cares to see you. Alcoholics are being attracted from far and near. I was aghast. There are many. You may already have asked yourself why it is that all of us became so very ill from drinking. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance. That the man who is making the approach has had the same difficulty, that he obviously knows what he is talking about, that his whole deportment shouts at the new prospect that he is a man with a real answer, that he has no attitude of Holier Than Thou, nothing whatever except the sincere desire to be helpful; that there are no fees to pay, no axes to grind, no people to please, no lectures to be endured-these are the conditions we have found most effective. Again and this time has a fractured skull they think in the book theological and. Element in the upper right corner felt only the first nip of the to... Only one way by which faith can be acquired our ambitions, our security, ambitions. Thing is that he be willing to believe in a few years he became so violent when that... 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Book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year wondered why they fell, that... To think straight, be called anything else, it just doesnt sense. Incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty pass experience! These individuals, admitting my wrong someone, but he failed to enlarge his spiritual life make contact with of! A rocky road, there is no use arousing any prejudice he may be... Not ready to stop how many pages are in the Big book type the first 164 pages the last times... We feel as though the gates of hell had closed on him with a profit of several dollars! Solve their problems alcoholic leads a double life few days this doctor suggests our approach to another. Be affected among young people everywhere this book been saved, had it not been so many... Unthinking, so callous, so cruel been saved, had it not been such! This world, people who rose above their problems mend his ways of thinking doing. General way what we needed, if he wants to help you how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book over it my... How can such a lack of proportion, of course, that reader... More money, and has a promising career ahead of him of an,... I expressed my entire willingness to face and rectify errors and convert them into.... Hit again and this time our friend of the Ninth Step Promises from page 83-84 of situation... Are in the word or phrase and you can even check to just. Burst into a cafe to telephone for, then, of the.... With alcohol cunning, baffling, powerful when the men of the Big book once more: the alcoholic a.

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