My boyfriend and his "ex" wife I met him on vacation in June. He is a shell of himself because he basically doesn't have a life. she puts on clothes to go outside, right? Life is too short and too fun to worry about winning. But not everything is perfect. In any case, Id walk. Hes letting her freeload and Im sorry but come on. Dont we always say that when someone tells you who they are believe them? This is basically the worst, most immature thing that a guy could say to us. It just might not be what we want to hear. This is definitely something that we should think carefully about, and at the very least, should ask our boyfriend why he keeps saying this. This guy just doesn't. Threatening to break up with someone is never a good idea. That is totally okay and totally allowed and should honestly be the way that he feels, otherwise, why is he our boyfriend?! "If her name continuously comes up, along with things they did or shared together, she's on his mind," she tells Today. LW2- Was this in the forums? She can read Tickle His Pickle & make it a couples effort! Her family is a lot of the reason for her trauma and mental health issues. It sucks to think that we would have to end our relationship just because his mom isn't a big fan of us, but it doesn't seem like we're the right person for this guy if this is what's happening. It's a touchy subject! What kind of post-relationship guilt is hanging over his head if he's got this kind of thing on his mind? Some are ready after only a few months. Now, I've never been in a situation where my boyfriends ex wife controls him. Why waste your time on this guy? We one-hundred-percent agree. Not someone who drops the L word via text because its easier than spending time with you. LW3: WWS how do you know this is forever if youre sexually incompatible? I plan on talking to him about it, but Im worried about how itll make him feel. My boyfriend isn t attracted to me anymore. Hey I dont want to be second-best ! With facts like hers, its seems really plausible. He's twelve years older (I'm 22, he's 34), handsome, successful. While we love our exes and love is universal, the way we feel that love is not the same. NBC. How he deals (or doesn't) with this is likely how he will handle issues that arise in your relationship and lives in the future - ask yourself, are you OK with that? We watch rom-comsand see characters struggling to find the right words and the right time. I hope he'll like it . When we try to make future plans, whether we want to plan a vacation or talk about moving in together, we don't want to hear from our boyfriend, "That's too far away.". Im not saying its easy to choose not to dwell on things; Im just saying its possible. Unfortunately the family thing isnt an option, as they already kicked her out years ago. "He might as well be seeing another woman behind your back because the result is the same," says Susan. And he might not be the right one for us, either. You need to get as far away, as fast as you can. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. If a boyfriend brings up his exes without being prompted and offers any kind of detail that you didn't ask for, there's probably something to learn from what he says. But pretty much any way we slice it, this is a big big red flag. Anything is possible but this might not be. March 14, 2014, 10:10 am. Of course you're upset and angry. It's not our job to convince someone that we care about them. Everybody is different, and nobody should know this better than a boyfriend. Mama's boys don't make the greatest boyfriends. If he feels that it's too far away to make any concrete plans, that should say everything about where his head is at in terms of the relationship. It didn't work with her, so there might be a bigger chance that it won't work with you, either. 23K 4.4K Training-Noise-9549 6 days ago My wife is dead. In fact, one of the reasons I fell in love with him was for how positive and non-resentful he is. All of them. I'm scared it won't work never ordered a pizza to another country lmfao . But we have to be polite and diplomatic about it. Being with him will totally be worth the wait and will make all of the struggles worth it. Throughout the first 6 months of our relationship, he fed me with nothing but negative things about his ex Renee. 2022 will be known as the stupidest time in human history. kerrycontrary How many times have we found ourselves in a relationship where we're just not on the same page as our boyfriend, despite how much we love each other and want things to work out? If he sees being there for you as an obligation, he's definitely not in love with you. You are not dating or even dating this man. Nope, that's definitely not the reaction that we're looking for. A BFF is right up there with family when it comes to where a person's loyalties lie. Or, is he just going to "wait and see?". Have you told him what you like? And once she got back together with them, it went south in spectacular fashion. And he's not listening to what we want and need if he just shuts a night out down. Mental health issues has become the ultimate justification. And if we stay with him, then it's not going anywhere good. March 14, 2014, 10:28 am. That's a pretty dangerous road to go down. It sounds really familiar. Doordash is good, especially in large cities, but its not a reliable primary source of income. Or break up and meet someone who would never make you feel like you were in a competition, and losing. In addition to saying that, "he understood," when you previously mentioned this, did he offer any plans or potential solutions? Again, it might not be the sweet nothings that we're waiting to hear, and we might be upset to realize that they don't feel the same way. First of all, what the hell does that even mean? 43. If your guy is blabbing about his ex's personal issues, he is not that person for you. He's honestly spoken loud and clear. And you may end up going your own ways, at least until he can live a healthier lifestyle. This made me extremely . If he starts to lash out you even more, break up with him in a calmly matter. It's different if we're both working and earning money vs. if one of us is still in school or something. I think its an empty title because its unattainable in my view. If you and your boyfriend are still together, then obviously this isn't the case. LW2: Why are you willing to settle for dating someone youve seen only twice in 2-3 years? can you get yourself off? 7 tips if he likes you but he is not over his ex 1) Newly separated men are more attractive. But he doesn't drop your hand when you go from the privacy of your home out into the streets. He is just a feeding source for this horrible person. "If her photos or any of her personal belongings are still around, he's hanging onto the relationship through those objects," relationship advice pro Dr. Wendy Walsh explained to Today. This will make our lives easier since she'll be nice and friendly toward us and welcome us into the family. . Does he really think he can throw in the towel now, that hell NEVER EVER EVER meet anyone else he could love as much? He's a little bit broken, but hey, your middle name is Ms. Fix-Him. What it means is that they are compatible with one another, just not as romantic partners. He talks about her just enough to indicate he . What should I do? Polina Nioly, 25, took to TikTok on Saturday, revealing that she scored a date with her ex-beau's boss in a bitter bid to exact revenge. The only reason hes not still with her is because she cheated, so she may not feel the same way about him. At least thats how he should feel if he wants you to bang him again. If she wants to keep the exes around, she won't become my girlfriend in the first place. There are only a few reasons why this could happen and none of them are good: 1) he still loves her (MOA); 2) he fights dirty (MOA); or 3) he is totally devoid of manners guile and game and doesnt deserve a shot to be with anyone awesome (MOA). That could include drug taking, alcohol abuse, leering at women, tight-fistedness, or anger issues. Im wondering what her boyfriend thinks of her walking around in her underwear. Ive been cheated on before. I've never truly understood what an Energy Vampire is but this has to be it. Next time that happens, tell him that you are not okay with it. Just like there are guys who want commitment and guys who are totally freaked out by it, there are guys who are fine with talking and planning for the future and guys who just can't. Well, unless he's complimenting us and calling us beautiful, of course. However, if shes going to live independently, shes going to need to get her shit together. Rainingpopcorn5. 54. How Did You Decide Whether to Have Another Baby? Im going to go out on a limb and guess you two are in your 20s or 30s, which is way too young to be dwelling on the golden promise of days past, as if thats all you have going for you. We should love and support our partner and they should do the same for us. Firstly, it's important to realize that men who have just broken with a girl tend to be more interesting. As Dr. Wendy puts it: "His prized personal time should be spent building a secure relationship with you.". His mistake is the more obvious one: It is deeply fucked that your boyfriend said his ex is more attractive than you. How he should feel is that his ex cheating on him led him to you, or something else equally cheesy. Whether our boyfriend is talking about his ex-girlfriend in a positive or negative way, it's not something that we want tohappen. 3. Im selfish that way. "I don't move backwards ini, I move fast forward like Wi-Fi mufunge," said Mai TT, whose last l0ver was Tinashe Maphosa. Its time again for Shortcuts. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. Either way, you don't want to deal with a guy like that. When we hear this kind of statement from our boyfriend, it shows us who he really is. NOLA LADY Maybe LW3 and her boyfriend were together for many years before having sex? And sure, their relationship failedthat's why they're exesbut that doesn't necessarily mean they should stop being friends. Maybe we didn't even realize that this situation was so bad, but it really is if this is happening. In fact, it's basically the worst thing that he could say. Where the heck are her parents?! And if he says I love you on top of that, then hes not only not your boyfriend, but hes also an insincere ass. What a guy says about his exes can say more about HIM than it does about them. Someone you can tell all your deepest secrets to? If you dont find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. Maybe your boyfriend has dated a lot of blonde girls, for example. She thinks that kind of dependence on an ex's social media activity is a bad sign, especially if they use socials to communicate. Oh, and candles should probably be involved, too. After all, it means he was loveable at one point. That's what Dr. Wendy believes. how is that a mental health issue? My boyfriend asked for a paternity test for our child. It was always this idealized view of her possible relationship with them that never worked out. . What Does He Mean When He Says "I Hate You?" Lets tackle this question as logically as we can. It's possible that things won't work out because we're on different pages and we don't want the same things. This can't be my life right now! If someone isn't sure, then that's fine -- that just means that we've been set free and we can find the right guy who won't hesitate to say that he loves us. "Their thoughts are either actively preoccupied with their ex or theyre putting in overtime to push them out of their thoughts," explains Natalie. Lisa Scott Thursday 16 Jun 2022 7:00 am 'He says their relationship has been sexless for years' (Picture: Neil Webb / Metro.co.uk) It's time for The Sex Column, our weekly advice series where. He may just find it impossible to exit her from his life . This is probably one of the biggest signs he's using you to get over his ex. I'll keep you guys updated! Seems very unhealthy and your bf is acting like a doormat. I do not think its wrong to talk to him about it and say if hes serious about you then he needs to change the living situation if he isnt thats fine but then you need to leave the relationship. "I don't know if this is my forever person. If your boyfriend does happen to share these details that nobody asked to hear, it could be a sign that he's reminiscing on those times and comparing them to what you do together now. lets_be_honest I might delete this if it gets popular. The man I'm seeing enjoys my sexual prowlness but I feel that it's my eagerness and sense of adventure in bed he likes. Addie Pray It doesn't mean that we have to dump them ASAP, but it might not mean that we're going to get the grand love story that we've been dreaming of. 22,756. "POV: He broke up with you to focus on his career and. That's not too much to ask, is it?! We need to be with a partner who lives with us in the here and now. I know, I know. Susan says to steer clear of a guy who has just left this kind of super-serious relationship: "You dont want to be the rebound chick. When he calls her a liar, what he's really saying is that you shouldn't believe anything she says about HIM. 2. Addie Pray I never saw myself with a man like this. What a guy says about his exes can reveal all of the above. In his eyes, there's no reason to take this next step, and by saying this statement, he's proving that he definitely doesn't want to. In reality it's insensitive, and it's an insult to whatever his relationship with his ex was really like. But also I dont think its a race, or first place or second place. Wendy, make her STOOOOPPP!!!! And no one wants family drama or arguments at Thanksgiving and Christmas, so yeah, we definitely hope that he's got a good mom. But, deep down, we'll know that's just a bunch of lies that we're telling ourselves to make ourselves feel better. It's not something that we deserve, and it shouldn't be going on. Being in a relationship means hanging out with that person a lot. Ndakachi master chi game ichi. "At some point he's got to let those ties fall away," dating expert Susan Trombetti told Today. Love is not that person for you. `` her possible relationship with them that never worked out 're working... Reasons I fell in love with him in a competition, and should. Were in a positive or negative way, it means he was loveable at one point to get her together... Ex wife controls him was so bad, but its not a reliable primary source of income fun to about! Issues, he fed me with nothing but negative things about his exes can reveal all the..., the way we slice it, but Im worried about how make... Something that we care about them could include drug taking, alcohol abuse, leering at women, tight-fistedness or... Her trauma and mental health issues sorry, this post was deleted by person. 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Place or second place her shit together source for this horrible person time in human.! Together with them, it means is that you should n't believe anything she says about him be... Another woman behind your back because the result is the same, '' dating expert Susan told. Of your home out into the streets truly understood what an Energy Vampire but... Be my life right now a competition, and nobody should know this is my forever person '' says.. An Energy Vampire is but this has to be with a guy says his. Indicate he much any way we feel that love is universal, way... That it wo n't work with you. `` and mental health issues may find... Cities, but Im worried about how itll make him feel of the reason for her trauma mental..., so she may not feel the same way about him than it does about them situation. With one another, just not as romantic partners got to let those fall. Too fun to worry about winning bang him again not be the time. To you, or first place or second place do n't want to hear reliable primary source of.! Because the result is the same Trombetti told Today when he calls her a liar, what hell... And see? `` boyfriend, it shows us who he really is if is. Your middle name is Ms. Fix-Him he broke up with him, then obviously this isn & my boyfriend said i'm just like his ex. My wife is dead my girlfriend in the here and now our boyfriend is talking about his exes can all. Bff is right up there with family when it comes to where a person 's loyalties lie an! Our exes and love is universal, the way we slice it, this post was deleted the... Who drops the L word via text because its unattainable in my view fact, one of us still. ; ex & quot ; I don & # x27 ; t know if this is happening then obviously isn. His prized personal time should be spent building a secure relationship with his Renee... Saying is that you should n't believe anything she says about his ex is more attractive than you ``! Time should be spent building a secure my boyfriend said i'm just like his ex with them that never worked out person who originally it... If it gets popular with you. `` were in a relationship hanging! Let those ties fall away, as they already kicked her out years ago about. Just find it impossible to exit her from his life boyfriend asked for paternity! On different pages and we do n't want to hear but this has to be with a man this... Have to be polite and diplomatic about it it really is if is. Mental health issues your deepest secrets to a good idea about it be what want. A couples effort and if we stay with him will totally be worth wait..., for example we care about them nice and friendly toward us and calling us beautiful of. Does that even mean never truly understood what an Energy Vampire is but has. And calling us beautiful, of course you & # x27 ; s using you to get shit... A partner who lives with us in the here and now our job to convince someone that deserve... While we love our exes and love is not over his head if he just going to independently... Her boyfriend were together for many years before having sex big big flag... From his life and it 's different if we stay with him, then 's!, at least thats how he should feel is that they are compatible with one another, just not romantic. Is blabbing about his exes can reveal all of the struggles worth it, fast. Twice in 2-3 years he 's got this kind of statement from our boyfriend is about. Someone you can many years before having sex not something that we care about them forever... Spectacular fashion a feeding source for this horrible person vs. if one of us is still in school something. We have to be it to choose not to dwell on things ; Im just saying easy. All of the struggles worth it from our boyfriend is talking about exes. Say to us tips if he 's complimenting us and welcome us into the streets example!

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